Goodbye 2014!!

Boston Roommates, 2014

Dear 2014:

You were quite a year.  You changed me and my life so much and so quickly, I could barely keep up.  There is a whole group of people who seem to think that I owed them more notice on my leaving Boston (despite that it wasn’t even a full time job or even steady work, nor did I have much notice myself).  They didn’t talk to me for months and then when they called me up for work I was in LA, and they were upset.  In February, I lost my job and my residence and had three weeks to find both.  Impossible? Yeah, it is. I moved to my parents for a few weeks, that didn’t go so well. Then I moved to LA for a few months to live with my best friend.  I think if I had been an unemployed actor, I would have had a better chance of finding work there.  After all, I don’t think I am cut out for LA...I felt rather alien, a stranger in a strange land which felt a bit like a movie set itself.  I spent a solid month pounding the pavement and sending out resumes, when I couldn’t even land a basic “floor manager” position at a restaurant, I gave up. There is something unsettling about being over qualified for positions and getting turned down.  It was after this that I decided to focus on elections in Haiti and throw my energy into fundraising and planning for that. 

LA Baby!

LA Life, 2014

Our plan was to change the political system, it was our chance to put theory into practice and make a real difference.  While it was a risk, nothing else seemed to be working out for me and I believed that this is what my life was meant for (creating change).  For a solid two months I focused on drafting up documents, flushing out details and coming up with budgets.  We even had foreign interest for funding.  The day before I got on a plane I told my friend “we can’t fail, I have risked everything for this.”  He agreed.

Haiti, 2014

In July, I came to Haiti to fundraise for a political movement.  By mid-August, things had changed again, elections were cancelled and everything was up in the air.  And here I am today, politics are still a mess and I am trying to push several projects.  I lived briefly in Carrefour twice now… until the situation changed and my being there was inconvenient.  Recently, I've spent much time alone with sporadic electricity.  I suppose this is a modern day Thoreau experience which has taught me much and heightened my self awareness. Thankfully, I amuse myself.  I can be full of energy and interact with people regularly, but I need time to recuperate and center myself but I have known this for a while, people both energize and drain me.  Whatever I thought I knew about life before Haiti, Haiti takes it a notch further to make sure the lesson was learned forever. I haven’t given up on my dream.  I was told that we failed, I said that I wasn’t dead yet, so no I haven’t failed.  The vision has remained the same, yet the path to how we get there has changed often.  I have a new path and with help from a few, I hope I can further the vision.

“I know you think you understand what you thought I said but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant." -Alan Greenspan


Here is what I learned the last year:

• I have learned the meaning of life, now that might be different for some people, but I have learned the meaning of MY life.  I always thought the smarter or more enlightened you are, the better off you are, but seemingly the wiser I become, the more misunderstood I am.  The more life throws at me the stronger I become, and I can still smile.  This has a tendency to make people think that you are crazy because you would have to be right? Not really.  

• Science and spirituality really do go hand in hand. Thankfully in my lifetime, what I suspected as a child to be the truth (enlightenment) has actually started to be proven by science.  While I am intuitive, I also like hard facts that science provides. I believe science will prove many more things as people start to open their minds.  Society and religion seem to hinder the learning of the truth. 

•  My ego was also so big that it overshadowed some of my humanity, not that I was particularly more egocentric than anyone else but with an ego more in tune with your higher being, the more self aware you are.  Recently my higher being had a conversation with my ego, it lasted all of like 5 minutes, because my ego just whined and made excuses for why I was a certain way, and my higher being just told my ego to man up and move on. Lol.

•  I have learned to love myself completely, faults and all and this has allowed me to love other people more fully, even those who most people think should not be forgiven.  This is something that makes people think you are crazy, particularly when they were trying to manipulate you.

•  I have learned people will tell themselves anything to justify their bad behavior.  Arguing with them is also a waste of time.  At the end of the day, we all know they are lying to themselves (even they do deep down which causes self hate which again is their own problem). 

•  Sometimes all the positive energy in the world will not bring you what you want.  I do believe in the Law of Attraction (as well as the other 11 Universal Laws) yet sometimes there are lessons to be learned, and what you REALLY want out of the world, far outweighs the wanting of something small.  Long term needs and wants outweigh the short term immediate wants.

• When you learn not to care what others think and you regain your power, you lose the people that enjoyed manipulating you, sometimes these are people you love.

• Most people are all talk.  They talk a good game but their life doesn’t reflect what they are preaching, this of course leads to self hating which is projected on to others.

• Forgiving is the key to inner peace.

•  I have learned to find abundance in myself.  I always get what I need when I need it.  It might not be a lot, but it is always enough to get by. 

• Everything is energy and everything is connected.  And to try to separate things is futile.  It is one big ecosystem. 

• Time isn’t linear and doesn’t move at one pace.    

• I was right to question the economists that treated “resources” as limitless and just focused on market and demand.

So, goodbye 2014!  You have improved me as a human being but I am not sad to see you go.  I am ready for the new year and new challenges! 

Peace and Love,

Moi (the adventurer and lover of life)